Flashing Lights

Again, I was alone even in the pool with my camp mates.  Creepy that my shadow continued to lurk in the back of my thoughts reminders of my inner introverted self. I thought over the few weeks it had finally disappeared.  Perhaps I was destined to be the lonely kid in the middle of the earth.  Was that my place forever?  I floated back to the haunting words that halted me from moving forward because there was always someone else that already claimed the spot.  So became stuck, even in the blooming pool afraid to move away from the sides and stand firmly without the gliding board.  Funny, I found myself clinging like a monkey while making my way around to the deep end, but never alone in the middle.  Tired from my ritual, I climbed out of the pool dripping wet.  Strangely, I decided at that moment the need to go home.  It would be now or never I coaxed to myself.  All in all, I was born  a nose-bleeder so that became my crutch.  With no one around to watch my actions, I reached into my mind and with a great force blew my nose over and over until it bleed.  It was if I was part of the X-men with powers to make it happen (do not try this at home).  To my embarrassment and surprise it worked!  It started like a volcanic burst of flowing lava oozing out of control.  Immediately, I was rushed to the nurse's station that was a few feet away.  She placed an already made cold ice-pack on the bridge of my nose with no difficulties then dialed the phone to call my home.  I thought my plan was well-thought until the expression on the nurse's face told the outcome.  As instructed, I would remain at camp like the frozen ice on my nose.  Ugh!  My ultimate deceitful plan failed. So the last remaining camp days forced me to continue with my life.  I learned that some things are not worth the headache of trying to achieve, such as a nosebleed.  On my last night at camp, I stared up into the green pale ceiling.  Will all my thoughts be revealed?  I  wondered if the tent would share my ability to read The Hobbit (by JRR Tolkien) and dictionary (from beginning to the end), write poetry, and admire nature.  Also my musical interests of The Average White Band, soft rock and Beethoven music will be let out like Pandora's box. Also, my  gifted photographic memory that earned my endless spelling bee awards and not taking history notes--thank you Mr. Spearnack from my 7th grade class.  Surely the next camper will know my thoughts while laying on this bunk.  Immediately, I became jealous and full of betrayal.  My journey was ending just as I became comfortable with sharing the echoes in my mind   I packed my last clothing neatly back into the belly of the beast (bulging blue suitcase) with no mothballs.  Next, I sealed the last envelope enclosed with last night's notes to myself.  On the day of departure I hugged Jacky so tight and boarded the yellow school bus back to town.  Strangely, as I sat on the bus a tree leaf drifted into the window and landed on my lap.  I think my leaves did finally grow.